Covid 19 Vs Your Mental Health!

In this post I’m going to be looking at the effects of Covid 19 on our mental health, not our physical health coz lets face it no one talks about it! It’s all about people getting sick and loosing our loved ones (which is totally devastating!) I’ve had Covid and it wasn’t pretty but I’m talking about the shit people aren’t really talking about and that’s how people are doing Mentally.

Being Locked Up

I thought I’d only ever be watching this stuff on Netflix not experiencing it myself not in my lifetime anyway, so when lockdown happened for real, shit got real for me and millions of other mums.

There I was having to tell my daughter Ruby she couldn’t see her friends and family or even leave the house and god I hate being cooped up in my four walls for more than a few days so I was bricking it for sure!

The whole country was like a ghost town, it was almost like an apocalypse had happened and I was waiting for the zombies to appear. I was one of the lucky ones really, I wasn’t alone, I had my kids to keep me occupied and entertained, but some people where all alone and that must have been hard, Mentally.

I can’t think of anything worse than being locked up alone with your own thoughts for so long (my inner bitch would love that!) although I might actually get a load of shit I’ve been putting off done so that would have been good, if I had the motivation at the time, right.

I mean if you already suffer with mental health then being locked up alone could be your trigger or it could be your comfort, which one are you? You know my answer (lol).

Be for those mums that are lonely I have a Facebook group you can join and be part of the mental mum family!

Me Myself & My Inner Bitch

So before I had my youngest daughter Madison who is now a hyper 2-year-old I had a daily routine:

· Meditation

· Positive Affirmations: I Am Confident; I Am Fearless

· Morning Yoga

· 20 Minutes Reading

· Gratitude Journal

· Motivation vid

And this kept me in check every day, I loved the routine and I needed it but along came baby Madison and my routine turned into bottle feeds, nappy changes and sleepless nights so the keeping my inner bitch away was again a struggle! Back was the “You’re not good enough” You can’t do it” “I hate you” crap that I worked so hard to keep locked up. She really did let loose and I had no idea...

Until the day we were finally told we can go out, OMG I couldn’t wait to go actually go out I felt myself running to the shops. Ruby was excited all she was thinking about was toys while Madison had no clue.

So we get ourselves ready, facemask and sanitizer at hand and all of a sudden I feel this wash of anxiety come over me, my hearts beating a million miles an hour, I’m thinking what if we get sick, I didn’t know what to expect, I felt scared, like actually scared to go out and I’ve never been scared to go out EVER. Like wow this is actually happening. I had no choice we needed things so I HAD to suck it up and just go!

So we get to the shop and everyone had to cue up outside two meters apart all the way round the car park it was like at an amusement park. It took 40 minutes for us to get inside and waiting with impatient kids in normal circumstances is bad enough but when they need to stay close and not talk to people it was tough coz kids don’t care, right.

I’m getting more and more anxious waiting in line so by the time I get to the door and they let us in I had to go to the lady’s room! (I hate my body sometimes). My heart is still pounding, I'm getting sweaty and my body feels tingly, I need to grab and go like quick sharp, so we whizz round like supermarket sweep style and before I knew it we were back home safe. Thank god!

I had quite a few more episodes like this and if I didn’t have my kids I wouldn’t have pushed myself, they are my saviors so in hindsight this pandemic has made me so much more grateful for them! Even when they try to push my buttons to find the self destruct q1 one!

Homeschooling: My New Job?

And the fun begins dadadadaaaaaa!!! Oh yes the first week was a breeze and then in week two she hits me with "your not my teacher" and "this is home its not my school". Talk about lure me into a false sense of security. I though we was having fun but soon as the actual work comes out like math, boring she don't wanna know its like she's turned into an ape and don't even recognise the numbers (lol).

So many mums struggled which in turn made their mental health worse and having the kids literally FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE all day everyday was mind bending! I mean I love my kids to bits and wouldn't be without them but OMG 24/7 and not even being able to get out the house at first is the definition of Stress.

This is going to lead to clash of the clans for sure or clash of the mum and daughter in my case. Mums took to social media to share their pain and even took up drinking wine as comfort so when the kids could go back to school before the 2020 summer holidays it was music to my ears!

So many kids are back to school but the struggle is still their especially since the kids have missed so much school many are behind, ruby even more as wiv come to realise she may have dyslexia so now the battle starts to get her where she needs to be before its too late.

My Contribution To Kicking Covids Ass!

I know what a fab pic! Ruby told me I look like a duck (lol). So when I had Covid, yes I got it, my symptoms were mild, just flu like so I was very lucky and so was my mum who is actually on the venerable list due to her heart condition. So praise the lord!

During this time I took part in a research program for the London College which required me to take Covid tests daily for two weeks after to see if I still had symptoms of any sort. I actually still tested positive a week after my symptoms had subsided and so had to isolate for longer which was frustrating but as long as I was protecting people by staying indoors I didn't mind!

My first symptom was not a temperature or cough it was what felt like trapped wind which then led to the usual blocked nose, headache, aching muscles, oh god that was the worse. So the scary thing is if my sister didn't get a temperature and do a test I wouldn't of known and possibly given it to others which was my worst nightmare.

Thankfully iv not lost anyone close to me from the pandemic but I know people that have. Its devastating and to then add to the death count is suicides which is believed to be 75,000 suicides from what is called "deaths of despair". Its even more scary right! We live in a society that is well connected thanks to social media and the internet but still people are too scared to reach out. Which I totally get!

I ask you.... How can we make this better together?

Come and join our Mental Mum community make some new friends that are in the same boat as you or if you would rather talk to someone anonymously then Mind are great!

My Teen boy & His Mental Health

Logan is my youngest son who is now nearly 17 and has been suffering with depression and even suicidal thoughts at one scary point. See he too I believe is dyslexic and was seriously let down by his school as well as me! I should of seen the signs sooner and maybe it wouldn't of gotten to the point of taking him out of school and homeschooling.

Logan had simply given up on himself and others. He didn't see he was depressed but I could see the signs and was so worried as a mum. I had so many tools and advice for him but he just wasn't in the right place to receive the help he needed. Especially from his mum!

So when he told me he was thinking of taking his own life I FREAKED out!! As you can imagine I was so scared and just didn't know what to do or who to turn to so we got him to the doc who then referred him to CAMHS aka children and mental health services which started to help.

His still not 100% and is not sure what he wants to do in life but his home where I can spend more time guiding him in the right direction and I'm here if he needs me. I still worry all the time but that's motherhood right!

I would like to dedicate this post to all lives lost to Covid 19, due to sickness and suicides they all lost their fight for life and may they all rest in peace! One Love! x

Conclusion:

You gotta try and focus on the good and positive things the pandemic has brought to your life and it will help your mental health. Happiness is not a destination it is a feeling and were the ones that are in control of our feelings right, so do things that make you happy daily and you will be happy, just know some days will be shitty but that’s ok!

That’s all from me today, until next week...

Remember to Keep Smiling & Laugh a little Every day!

Your Mental Mum...